Check out the post here: tranquil space blog
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
meeting the parents
An acquaintance once commented that he thought it bizarre that I should be as close to my friends' parents as I was to my friends. I, on the other hand, find it bizarre that he did not even know his friends' parents.
Maybe it was just where I grew up, but it was common that you should know your friends' parents and even feel comfortable calling them in a time of need. Sometimes, they were better to go to with your problems than your own parents because they gave you a more objective opinion on the situation. Especially when it comes to significant others. I am more anxious for my boyfriend to meet my friends' parents than some of my own family members. I know they are going to be more critical and they are also going to be the most fun. These are the people that have seen me grow up and know my embarrassing stories. They remember the things my parents forget and even know some things my parents don't!
My friends' parents are often a back up set of parents when mine are not around. When I left for college, the first thing I did when I made new friends was to meet their parents. These people opened their house to me as a home away from home (thanks Lee Bugs for sharing your Diddy). College can be scary at times and knowing you have a place to turn and adults to turn to can make it easier to deal with, even if you never need them.
I even looked to a friend's parents for a source of encouragement when mine were acting too cautiously like parents. My dad freaked when I decided to study abroad in Hungary. Not that Hungary is a scary place, but what if something happened? It would take over a day for him to get to me and that did not settle well with either of them. One afternoon while I was out swimming at a friend's house, I stopped by an ex-boyfriend's parents' house just to say hi. (You never break up with the parents!) They were so excited to hear that I was going to study abroad and made me promise to call them when I got back so they could take me to dinner so we could sit down and I could tell them everything about it. THAT was the kind of thing I needed to hear from my own mom and dad. I was scared as well about moving to a foreign country (where hardly anyone speaks any English) but I knew it was going to be a once in a lifetime chance I couldn't pass up. I needed someone to be excited for me. I don't blame my parents for acting the way they did, I understand, they are parents! They are supposed to worry. I was just grateful I had other adult influences to offer the encouragement I also needed.
Ultimately, I am usually really excited to meet the parents of anyone in my life. They are bound to be someone important. I also enjoy talking to people older than I am. When I was younger, I was that kid at the adult table sitting on my mom's lap or beside her because I found the adult conversation so much more entertaining than what was going on in the kid room/table. I have also felt at ease when meeting new people and in particular parents of the boyfriend. Seeing a boyfriend interact with his parents can tell you a lot about him that you might not know. However, for the first time in my life I am freaking out about meeting the parents of my current boyfriend. I was never worried about meeting them. It is my goal to make them like me and I know not to do, wear, or say anything that would ruin the first impression, so why now? Why am I freaking out about these parents. I blame the boy. He has done everything he can to make me worry that I am going to do something wrong. He means it all in playfulness but seriously, I am girl and girls worry!
I am meeting them tonight. I hope I don't screw this up!
Maybe it was just where I grew up, but it was common that you should know your friends' parents and even feel comfortable calling them in a time of need. Sometimes, they were better to go to with your problems than your own parents because they gave you a more objective opinion on the situation. Especially when it comes to significant others. I am more anxious for my boyfriend to meet my friends' parents than some of my own family members. I know they are going to be more critical and they are also going to be the most fun. These are the people that have seen me grow up and know my embarrassing stories. They remember the things my parents forget and even know some things my parents don't!
My friends' parents are often a back up set of parents when mine are not around. When I left for college, the first thing I did when I made new friends was to meet their parents. These people opened their house to me as a home away from home (thanks Lee Bugs for sharing your Diddy). College can be scary at times and knowing you have a place to turn and adults to turn to can make it easier to deal with, even if you never need them.
I even looked to a friend's parents for a source of encouragement when mine were acting too cautiously like parents. My dad freaked when I decided to study abroad in Hungary. Not that Hungary is a scary place, but what if something happened? It would take over a day for him to get to me and that did not settle well with either of them. One afternoon while I was out swimming at a friend's house, I stopped by an ex-boyfriend's parents' house just to say hi. (You never break up with the parents!) They were so excited to hear that I was going to study abroad and made me promise to call them when I got back so they could take me to dinner so we could sit down and I could tell them everything about it. THAT was the kind of thing I needed to hear from my own mom and dad. I was scared as well about moving to a foreign country (where hardly anyone speaks any English) but I knew it was going to be a once in a lifetime chance I couldn't pass up. I needed someone to be excited for me. I don't blame my parents for acting the way they did, I understand, they are parents! They are supposed to worry. I was just grateful I had other adult influences to offer the encouragement I also needed.
Ultimately, I am usually really excited to meet the parents of anyone in my life. They are bound to be someone important. I also enjoy talking to people older than I am. When I was younger, I was that kid at the adult table sitting on my mom's lap or beside her because I found the adult conversation so much more entertaining than what was going on in the kid room/table. I have also felt at ease when meeting new people and in particular parents of the boyfriend. Seeing a boyfriend interact with his parents can tell you a lot about him that you might not know. However, for the first time in my life I am freaking out about meeting the parents of my current boyfriend. I was never worried about meeting them. It is my goal to make them like me and I know not to do, wear, or say anything that would ruin the first impression, so why now? Why am I freaking out about these parents. I blame the boy. He has done everything he can to make me worry that I am going to do something wrong. He means it all in playfulness but seriously, I am girl and girls worry!
I am meeting them tonight. I hope I don't screw this up!
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
atlas shrugged
I don't know why you should call my behavior rotten. I thought you would recognize it as an honest effort to practice what the whole world is preaching. Doesn't everyone believe that it is evil to be selfish? I was totally selfless in regard to the San Sebastian project. Isn't it evil to pursue a personal interest? I had no personal interest in it whatever. Isn't it evil to work for profit? I did not work for profit--I took a loss. Doesn't everyone agree that the purpose and justification of an industrial enterprise are not production, but the livelihood of its employees? The San Sebastian Mines were the most eminently successful venture in industrial history: they produced no copper, but they provided a livelihood for thousands of men who could not have achieved in a lifetime, the equivalent of what they got for one day's work, which they could not do. Isn't it generally agreed that an owner is a parasite and an exploiter, that it is the employees who do all the work and make the product possible? I did not exploit anyone. I did not burden the San Sebastian Mines with my useless presence; I left them in the hands of the men who count. I did not pass judgment on the value of the property. I turned it over to a mining specialist. He was not a very good specialist, but he needed the job very badly. Isn't it generally conceded that when you hire a man for a job, it is his need that counts, not his ability? Doesn't everyone believe that in order to get the goods, all you have to do is need them? I have carried out every moral precept of our age. I expected gratitude and a citation of honor. I do not understand why I am being damned.
-Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Friday, July 16, 2010
stress free
courtesy: GOOD
Here is a list of stress busters:
1. Sleep more. Sleep is the body’s time to repair itself, as well as the face’s chance to take a break from wrinkle-forming gymnastics. Even more important: Rats deprived entirely of sleep die within 10 to 20 days, a faster rate than starvation. If you're prone to insomnia, try these tips: Force yourself to go to bed earlier and wake up earlier; step away from the computer or television an hour before it’s time to go down; read the dictionary; keep your room pitch black and cool; when you wake, immediately let light into the room or step outside (this will help you reset your internal clock); and avoid caffeine, especially in the afternoon.
2. Exercise a lot. It releases serotonin, which is one of the reasons why it makes people happier (and in turn, less stressed). Exercise is also proven to help with sleep—but only if it’s done at least three hours before bed. It also improves circulation, oxygenates cells, stimulates lymphatic movement, and makes you sweat, ridding the body of toxins.
3. Have more sex (by yourself counts). Sex and orgasms release a cocktail of wonderful stress-zapping chemicals into the brain including serotonin, depression-fighting endorphins, and oxytocin, the cuddle chemical. You know what else oxytocin does? It helps skin repair itself (at least in rats).
4. Breathe deeper. Learning to lengthen and deepen your breaths is one of the easiest ways to reduce stress and, according to alterna-doctor par excellence Dr. Andrew Weil, one of the most important. Shifting your focus to your breath several times during the day will help relax the mind and bring more oxygen to cells.
5. Stop and smell the jasmine. Aromatherapy may have earned its scientific wings this week with a new German study reporting that smelling jasmine is as effective at calming nerves as valium, at least on the brains of mice. Apparently when their cages were filled with it, they ceased all activity and sat quietly in the corner. Could it do the same for the mouse on the wheel in your brain? It’s worth a try.
6. Meditate, or try to. This requires taking the breathing thing even further, into a magical place where thoughts stop having meaning. Of course that could take a lifetime (or several), but studies show that even the most novice practitioners show an almost immediate capacity to better handle stress.
7. Get a massage or go for acupuncture. These kinds of alternative treatments are a great way to sneak in some serious relaxation. Like other forms of pleasurable touch, massage can boost oxytocin levels, and if acupuncture can reduce hot flashes in breast cancer patients and knee pain in a study of 600 sufferers, we're ready to believe it probably can reduce stress too.
8. Do yoga. This is the all-in-one to all of the above. Breath? Check. Exercise? Check. Meditation? Check. Detoxification? Check. Anyone who’s ever been to a yoga class has also heard that inversions—like standing on your head—will keep you younger by reversing gravity and bringing more blood to your head and heart.
9. Turn off your gadgets. We are a nation of stressers: Even before the recession, 4 in 10 Americans reported feeling very stressed, and the latest polls now say that nearly half of us are experiencing debt-related stress as well. Being constantly connected to, say, a job you don’t like, or depressing news about the economy (let alone the environment) via all your gadgets can’t be great for anxiety levels. Unplug daily.
10. Do stuff you like. Or something you haven’t done for a while. Or something you’ve never done that doesn’t involve texting, tweeting, or BBM-ing. Even a couple of hours away from the world, or with someone special, can give you a fresh outlook.
Here is a list of stress busters:
1. Sleep more. Sleep is the body’s time to repair itself, as well as the face’s chance to take a break from wrinkle-forming gymnastics. Even more important: Rats deprived entirely of sleep die within 10 to 20 days, a faster rate than starvation. If you're prone to insomnia, try these tips: Force yourself to go to bed earlier and wake up earlier; step away from the computer or television an hour before it’s time to go down; read the dictionary; keep your room pitch black and cool; when you wake, immediately let light into the room or step outside (this will help you reset your internal clock); and avoid caffeine, especially in the afternoon.
2. Exercise a lot. It releases serotonin, which is one of the reasons why it makes people happier (and in turn, less stressed). Exercise is also proven to help with sleep—but only if it’s done at least three hours before bed. It also improves circulation, oxygenates cells, stimulates lymphatic movement, and makes you sweat, ridding the body of toxins.
3. Have more sex (by yourself counts). Sex and orgasms release a cocktail of wonderful stress-zapping chemicals into the brain including serotonin, depression-fighting endorphins, and oxytocin, the cuddle chemical. You know what else oxytocin does? It helps skin repair itself (at least in rats).
4. Breathe deeper. Learning to lengthen and deepen your breaths is one of the easiest ways to reduce stress and, according to alterna-doctor par excellence Dr. Andrew Weil, one of the most important. Shifting your focus to your breath several times during the day will help relax the mind and bring more oxygen to cells.
5. Stop and smell the jasmine. Aromatherapy may have earned its scientific wings this week with a new German study reporting that smelling jasmine is as effective at calming nerves as valium, at least on the brains of mice. Apparently when their cages were filled with it, they ceased all activity and sat quietly in the corner. Could it do the same for the mouse on the wheel in your brain? It’s worth a try.
6. Meditate, or try to. This requires taking the breathing thing even further, into a magical place where thoughts stop having meaning. Of course that could take a lifetime (or several), but studies show that even the most novice practitioners show an almost immediate capacity to better handle stress.
7. Get a massage or go for acupuncture. These kinds of alternative treatments are a great way to sneak in some serious relaxation. Like other forms of pleasurable touch, massage can boost oxytocin levels, and if acupuncture can reduce hot flashes in breast cancer patients and knee pain in a study of 600 sufferers, we're ready to believe it probably can reduce stress too.
8. Do yoga. This is the all-in-one to all of the above. Breath? Check. Exercise? Check. Meditation? Check. Detoxification? Check. Anyone who’s ever been to a yoga class has also heard that inversions—like standing on your head—will keep you younger by reversing gravity and bringing more blood to your head and heart.
9. Turn off your gadgets. We are a nation of stressers: Even before the recession, 4 in 10 Americans reported feeling very stressed, and the latest polls now say that nearly half of us are experiencing debt-related stress as well. Being constantly connected to, say, a job you don’t like, or depressing news about the economy (let alone the environment) via all your gadgets can’t be great for anxiety levels. Unplug daily.
10. Do stuff you like. Or something you haven’t done for a while. Or something you’ve never done that doesn’t involve texting, tweeting, or BBM-ing. Even a couple of hours away from the world, or with someone special, can give you a fresh outlook.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
distracted
sorry about the seemingly lack of interest. internet has been down and life has pulled me in other directions. i promise i still have lots to say and lots to show :)
Monday, July 12, 2010
what to do next
Don't you miss the carefree days of childhood, when everything was already decided for you? The only decisions we ever had to make were which friend we wanted to hang out with that afternoon and whether we should listen to our parents and come home on time. Every year was the same. August was the start of school, December brought on Christmas break and the end of May welcomed summer vacation. It was no question that this would be how things went. It never changed. Even after high school graduation, once a specific college was decided upon, the next four years were the same as all the others. The only added decision here was how and where to spend your summer.
A year ago I finished grad school and today, I have no idea what to do with myself. I don't know what I want to do or where I should be. I don't even know how to go about finding the answers to these questions. For the first time, things are unsure and not decided upon and no answer is clear in sight. I will admit, when I finished college, I was in a similar position but I had some options and the perfect situation sort of fell into my lap and put me in Washington, DC for the next 2.5 years. Now here I am, trying to decide what I should be doing. This decision is going to change everything and I am scared out of my mind.
It isn't that I haven't enjoyed growing up and having more freedom and the options to make my own decisions. It's just that I miss when things were easier and I could rely on my mom to make the difficult choices. I could trust her and what she thought was best even if sometimes I didn't like what she had to say. Like the time she wouldn't let me go to Jordan and Andy's pool birthday party in 7th grade when EVERYONE was going to be there. I then learned that I am not allowed to talk back to my dad, the hard way.
The most troubling part about this life altering situation is having to think about someone other than myself. My decision to change my current situation is based on many contributing factors but one of them is a significant other. Though I don't want to move just to be with him, he is a major catalyst in my changing the direction I am currently heading in. A lot of where I end up and what I end up doing depends on him and where he wants to be. It has made this transition so much harder on both of us because we have to think about a second person and how it will affect them. We can no longer be entirely selfish in our choices. The good thing is that we have each other to rely on and we don't have to make these choices on our own.
I will let you know how it turns out later...
A year ago I finished grad school and today, I have no idea what to do with myself. I don't know what I want to do or where I should be. I don't even know how to go about finding the answers to these questions. For the first time, things are unsure and not decided upon and no answer is clear in sight. I will admit, when I finished college, I was in a similar position but I had some options and the perfect situation sort of fell into my lap and put me in Washington, DC for the next 2.5 years. Now here I am, trying to decide what I should be doing. This decision is going to change everything and I am scared out of my mind.
It isn't that I haven't enjoyed growing up and having more freedom and the options to make my own decisions. It's just that I miss when things were easier and I could rely on my mom to make the difficult choices. I could trust her and what she thought was best even if sometimes I didn't like what she had to say. Like the time she wouldn't let me go to Jordan and Andy's pool birthday party in 7th grade when EVERYONE was going to be there. I then learned that I am not allowed to talk back to my dad, the hard way.
The most troubling part about this life altering situation is having to think about someone other than myself. My decision to change my current situation is based on many contributing factors but one of them is a significant other. Though I don't want to move just to be with him, he is a major catalyst in my changing the direction I am currently heading in. A lot of where I end up and what I end up doing depends on him and where he wants to be. It has made this transition so much harder on both of us because we have to think about a second person and how it will affect them. We can no longer be entirely selfish in our choices. The good thing is that we have each other to rely on and we don't have to make these choices on our own.
I will let you know how it turns out later...
Saturday, July 10, 2010
imagine that
"Because," explained Mary Rommely simply, "the child must have a valuable thing which is called imagination. The child must have a secret world in which live things that never were. It is necessary that she believe. She must start out by believing in things not of this world. Then when the world becomes too ugly for living in, the child can reach back and live in her imagination. I, myself, even in this day and at my age, have great need for recalling the miraculous lives of the Saints and the great miracles that have come to pass on earth. Only by having these things in my mind can I live beyond what I have to live for."
-A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith
Friday, July 9, 2010
masters of library sciences
I have decided that I want to go back to school. Which school you may ask? Library Science school!! When my friend Austin decided to add on an MLS degree to his JD two years ago, I encouraged him wholeheartedly. What a cool idea?! Working in a library? Who wouldn't want to do that? I was secretly really jealous of him that I had not thought to do that myself. Not the law degree but the library stuff. Well, I guess now is my chance.
My dad told me that he fully supports me leaving my current job but told me that if I am going to move, I need to have a plan. That plan either needs to be a new job lined up or applications to go back to school. This seemingly ultimatum made me realize, this is my time! I can get my library degree now! I can be just like my friend Austin.
I have found quite a few programs that seem ideal for me. The trouble now is applying to them. I thought I was done with school applications. Gathering all of my transcripts. Conning old professors into writing me good recommendations. The dreaded personal statement! How do you say, "I hate my job and I just want to read books all day," without sounding like a total slacker? I mean that isn't the only reason I want to go back to school. I love books. I love the idea of organization. I love walking through libraries and book stores looking for treasures. I love opening people up to the world of reading. I advocate the freedom to read what you want. Books are a way to learn, an ability to escape, a reason to live!
Take for example the story of Mathilda by Roald Dahl. This poor girl was living with a family who did not understand or appreciate her. She took to walking to the library every day just so she could read about the rest of the world. The books were her escape from her wicked family. Her parents wouldn't even let her attend school. Books became her reason to live.
In a Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith, Katie, the lead character's mother, reads to her children every night. One page from the Bible and one page from The Complete Works of William Shakespeare. She knows that her children will be far better off if they learn how to read and write at an early age. It is about creating a vocabulary, teaching language and learning how to use your imagination.
My dream is to provide everyone with books and to share my love for them.
My dad told me that he fully supports me leaving my current job but told me that if I am going to move, I need to have a plan. That plan either needs to be a new job lined up or applications to go back to school. This seemingly ultimatum made me realize, this is my time! I can get my library degree now! I can be just like my friend Austin.
I have found quite a few programs that seem ideal for me. The trouble now is applying to them. I thought I was done with school applications. Gathering all of my transcripts. Conning old professors into writing me good recommendations. The dreaded personal statement! How do you say, "I hate my job and I just want to read books all day," without sounding like a total slacker? I mean that isn't the only reason I want to go back to school. I love books. I love the idea of organization. I love walking through libraries and book stores looking for treasures. I love opening people up to the world of reading. I advocate the freedom to read what you want. Books are a way to learn, an ability to escape, a reason to live!
Take for example the story of Mathilda by Roald Dahl. This poor girl was living with a family who did not understand or appreciate her. She took to walking to the library every day just so she could read about the rest of the world. The books were her escape from her wicked family. Her parents wouldn't even let her attend school. Books became her reason to live.
In a Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith, Katie, the lead character's mother, reads to her children every night. One page from the Bible and one page from The Complete Works of William Shakespeare. She knows that her children will be far better off if they learn how to read and write at an early age. It is about creating a vocabulary, teaching language and learning how to use your imagination.
My dream is to provide everyone with books and to share my love for them.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
the short reign
Pippin said slowly, "I believe that all men are honest where they are disinterested. I believe that most people are vulnerable where they are interested. I believe that some men are honest in spite of interest. It seems to me reprehensible to search out areas of weakness and to exploit them."
"Aren't you going to have some difficulty being king, sir?" Tod asked
-The Short Reign of Pippin IV by John Steinbeck
Monday, July 5, 2010
atlas shrugged
"I'm not interested in helping anybody. I want to make money."
"That's an impractical attitude. Selfish greed for profit is a thing of the past. It has been generally conceded that the interests of the society as a whole must be placed first in any business undertaking which --"
-Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Thursday, July 1, 2010
the art of excuses
When I was in high school, and maybe even before that, I started making up excuses to get out of things I didn't want to do. I became really good at it. So good, that my brother even started asking me to come up with excuses for him. One time he even told me that I had a talent for coming up with convincing excuses. I doubt he remembers this but it was something that stayed with me. Let's face it, siblings are supposed to fight and rarely did my brother and I get along when we were living in the same house. I was thrilled beyond belief that he would pay me such a compliment.
It wasn't always excuses to get out of pulling weeds in the garden or running to the grocery store for my mom. Sometimes I just needed a mental health day and did not want to hang out with friends. Often times, my mom was a co-conspirator when it came to my excuses. She knew when I didn't want to spend the night at a friend's house or go out on a date with a certain boy, so she would act as my over protective mother who wouldn't let me do anything. In reality, my mom probably would let me do whatever I wanted because she knew she could trust me in my decisions.
My favorites were when I used to skip school to meet up during the day with boyfriend who went to high school on the other side of town. We rarely got to see each other during the week days, so about once a month we would skip school and have a mid day date. Those were the best times we had together because it took so much effort to meet up. The hardest one to pull off was the day I had a test in my statistics class (sorry, Rosey). I had statistics the last class of the day, so I had to come up with way to take the test early and with a good reason as to why. Here's how it worked. During my lunch period (which was only 28 minutes), I went to my statistics teacher and ask if I could take the test then. Obviously, he wanted to know why. Since I was unable to take theater classes anymore due to my heavy AP schedule, my teachers all felt bad for me, because I LOVED my theater classes. My two best girl friends had theater during the last period of the day, so I told my stats teacher that they wanted me in there to help them with the clown make up they were learning how to apply. Lucky for me, the exit to the school was right by the auditorium, where the theater class took place. So I took the test during lunch, left my second to last class of the day, walked to the auditorium and out the door to my car and drove off to meet up with my high school sweet heart. Oh the things you will do for love.
This ability to make up excuses has stayed with me to this day. I get better and better at it with each passing day. I pick up tips from friends and co workers. I even still rely on my mom to help me out on occasion. I don't abuse this power, I just use it when necessary and when it doesn't really matter. That's the key to this ability, knowing when it is okay to come up with excuses and when you just have to suck it up and do something you don't want to.
It wasn't always excuses to get out of pulling weeds in the garden or running to the grocery store for my mom. Sometimes I just needed a mental health day and did not want to hang out with friends. Often times, my mom was a co-conspirator when it came to my excuses. She knew when I didn't want to spend the night at a friend's house or go out on a date with a certain boy, so she would act as my over protective mother who wouldn't let me do anything. In reality, my mom probably would let me do whatever I wanted because she knew she could trust me in my decisions.
My favorites were when I used to skip school to meet up during the day with boyfriend who went to high school on the other side of town. We rarely got to see each other during the week days, so about once a month we would skip school and have a mid day date. Those were the best times we had together because it took so much effort to meet up. The hardest one to pull off was the day I had a test in my statistics class (sorry, Rosey). I had statistics the last class of the day, so I had to come up with way to take the test early and with a good reason as to why. Here's how it worked. During my lunch period (which was only 28 minutes), I went to my statistics teacher and ask if I could take the test then. Obviously, he wanted to know why. Since I was unable to take theater classes anymore due to my heavy AP schedule, my teachers all felt bad for me, because I LOVED my theater classes. My two best girl friends had theater during the last period of the day, so I told my stats teacher that they wanted me in there to help them with the clown make up they were learning how to apply. Lucky for me, the exit to the school was right by the auditorium, where the theater class took place. So I took the test during lunch, left my second to last class of the day, walked to the auditorium and out the door to my car and drove off to meet up with my high school sweet heart. Oh the things you will do for love.
This ability to make up excuses has stayed with me to this day. I get better and better at it with each passing day. I pick up tips from friends and co workers. I even still rely on my mom to help me out on occasion. I don't abuse this power, I just use it when necessary and when it doesn't really matter. That's the key to this ability, knowing when it is okay to come up with excuses and when you just have to suck it up and do something you don't want to.
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